i Need to VENT

I find it frustrating when people don’t “get it”. More so when those people are friends.

A conversation took place last week that is still bothering me.

This person is STILL referring to our adoption as “buying your kid” – some people might be fine with that, but Boz and I find it offensive.

I was also told that our kid(s) wouldn’t really be ours. She was saying how her kids look like her so she and everyone else can see that they belong to her… ours won’t. Are you freaking kidding me!? Boz and I don’t have this overwhelming need to have a child that looks like us. What’s more important, having a kid that physically looks like you, or being a mom and a dad to a son or daughter who might otherwise not have a parent? Who without you might not make it?

Then of course, the whole money topic came up. So I told her that if your kids were stuck halfway across the world, wouldn’t you do whatever and pay whatever you had to, to get them home? Because that’s exactly what we’re doing. We’re trying to get our little man home. W-E-L-L. Apparently I don’t know what I’m talking about. Yes, she would do whatever but that because she gave birth to them. She knows them. Has a bond with them… ‘unlike you, who has never met your kid, have no idea who they even are… it’s different. Until you have kids “of your own” you won’t understand.’

The part that really upset me (as if this whole conversation wasn’t upsetting enough) was when she commented on how we wouldn’t have a kid to carry on our genes and our last name. That it all would end here ( I don’t know why this really got me – there was more to it, but there’s no point in going any further). I reminded her that we were adopting a BOY and that he would be carrying on our name. But again, it’s not the same.

How can you even get through to someone like that!?

My father-in-law was adopted. Does that mean Grandpa B’s dreams were crushed? Does it mean he wasn’t a “real” dad? Does it mean his name ended there? Does it mean these two men are nothing alike? ABSOLUTELY NOT.

We have CHOSEN to adopt, not because we can’t have “our own kids” because they WILL BE OUR OWN KIDS. Would it have been easier/cheaper/more acceptable to have done it the old fashioned way? Sure. But we have 147,000,000 reasons why we aren’t. We may not know them right now, but you know what? Boz and I are already praying for them and loving them! Adoption takes faith.

I know people don’t get it, and I feel bad for them. They’re missing out on something beautiful.

Adoption isn’t for everyone. I get that. But it’d be great if more people SUPPORTED those who ARE adopting. We have been given such a incredible opportunity and I just wish more people were open to it and accepting of it.

But you know what, enough crabbing. MOST of You ARE supportive! And I can’t thank you enough for your prayers, thoughts, actions and love.

I know this was a long, rambling, venting post. But I needed to get it out.